#im afraid of myself
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j-hope Tour 'HOPE ON THE STAGE' Official Trailer 馃憖 setlist?
#maybe im delusional#this is shit BUT IM SO EXCITED#i need to occupy myself#this waiting for tickets and date is making me so anxious!!!!#I NEED TO SEE HIM LIVE#also i'm already manifesting blue side HE BETTER PERFORM IT PROPERLY!#bts#btsgif#dailybts#userbangtan#dailybangtan#cyphernet#jung hoseok#jhs#*mine#i probably missed a bunch of more clues#also i truly hope that snickers/hyyh era sign are for boy meets evil too#but mama is more obvious im afraid
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#here comes j o h n n y#he's back from the dead and he's gonna end the mfers who decided he should die in mw3#actually i drew this to keep myself awake rn because?? there's a cockroach in my room???#and it disappeared now im afraid for my life?????#like im afraid that i'll lie down and i'll see mr cockroach beside me HAHA#my art#2024#call of duty#call of duty: modern warfare#call of duty: modern warfare ii#call of duty: modern warfare iii#cod#cod mw#cod mwii#cod mwiii#modern warfare#mw#mw2#mw3#soap cod#johnny soap mactavish#soap mactavish#art#fanart#digital art#digital drawing#sketch#doodle#video games
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my text disappeared here when i posted. what happened
#annyways whats the deal with the panicau. im not talking about like popularity or anythin g#why does n have the evil triangle solver and uzi is a ghost thats evil but also not and theres teeth??? in visor??????#i dont understand anything about it but the artstyle looks cool so i can ignore that#havent drawn this large in a while but i needed to do it for the pc screen to not be Totally crushed#a little crushing is ok. as a treat#i think i took this idea from a post i saw once but i cannot find it again for the life of me#and very intelligent prior me decided not to link it to myself so. lost media#still trying to figure out how i want to draw drone heads slash visors and have been since i started drawing md stuff#losing it#spent like an hour trying to draw something else before giving up and doing this instead#if youre lucky ill actually do it eventually#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#do i even tag mdpanic?? does this count???#constantly afraid ill mess up tagging#which is something you can do and i might be doing#and also thats a joke. hopefully
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does anyone else ever feel like they never Fit In fandom spaces like. sure i create stuff SOMETIMES but i feel like such an outsider in the fandom and idk why asdkfsakdf

#this might be because i dont really create stuff much#i just kind of hop in eveyr now and then and post#mayb if i actually wrote more fics and drew more art i'd feel more...involved...idk#LOL idk#i want to have more friends in the ml fandom but i am just. so so bad at talking to people#and i am not in any discord servers besides the one i made myself#mostly bc i dont know where to find them#also bc im afraid ppl just think I'm weird or annoying or off-putting sjfsjdfs#it's the tism#text post
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Doodle page of Min and Johann (belongs to @bunnygirllover45)


Min鈥檚 Toyhou.se Page
idk why but johann is like... comforting to me so im indulging myself. also i love how the entire time doodling this, i was listening to I Love You, I'm Sorry by Gracie Abrams and its funny to me bc i would've listening to something... less soft than that? but idk maybe bc it was raining and it's when nostglia hits.
also yes, the second doodle page is reference to this (which is my fav to reread)
#鉁庒澃 blue draws#cw yandere#cw dollification#yandere male#yandere oc#vent oc#original character#gift sorta#ngl johann has become like a comfort character to me#and im a lil embarrased to admit that#for reasons i will not display#but yea#hes feeding into my lil delulu brain#I also have some hcs of these two together but imma just keep them to myself#bc I鈥檓 afraid of OOCness
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I am also doing a book challenge with two of my colleagues this year and we made an entire excel spreadsheet with rating and word count and page count and everything! They were so kind to allow me to add fanfiction to it and its been... a revelation, how much I actually read.
BUT to get back to the point. BOOKS! I managed to get them to read one of my all time favorites, the Throne of Glass books! I ADORE them! Its full of plot twists and such good foreshadowing that spans across MULTIPLE BOOKS! Like, a detail gets mentioned in book one and it comes back to haunt you in book 6, its *chefs kiss*. Total rec if you are a fantasy lover.
Fair warning, i AM an avid fantasy reader, so these are all leaning in that direction.
Another one i cam rec on the top of my head is the Lunar Chronicles series, which takes classic fairy tales and gives them a new, futuristic twist. For example, "Rapunzels" tower is a satellite orbiting earth. I remember reading them through the night!
An older series i read years ago that really got me hooked is the Cat&Bones series from Jeanine Frost. Absolutely adore them and thinking of them, i ought to reread them.
I am currently reading Rebecca Yarros Fourth Wing series. I am on the second book Iron Flame and i am enjoying the journey so far. Its funny and a little spicy and it has DRAGONS! HOWEVER, if you're not a fan of beloved characters getting REALLY hurt and oftentimes actually KILLED, then you should think about reading this because noone is save.
I have TONS of books still sitting here on my shelves, waiting to be read and i am currently very obsessed with two things.
One, everything Danmei, right now esp all of Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. I have every book right here just waiting to be read. If you like chinese culture, fantasy, martial arts and pretty boys, you may want to check them out! The donghuas are also REALLY good. Beware, some suffering and "it cant get worse...oh"
Second, thanks to Jorge Rivera-Herrans and his PHENOMENAL musical Epic (truly, go listen to it if you like musicals, its AMAZING and its on yt and spotify, he also has twitter and insta and tiktok and everything, go support him) i am currently kinda obsessed with Greek mythology, so i have Claire Norths Penelope and House of Odysseus here as well as Luna McNamarra's Psyche and Eros.
So yeah! A GREAT year for me, because there are TONS of greek and chinese mythology book right now!
This was... a rather long rant, but I hope maybe you found something that interests you!
My goal for this year is to read more books. There were a lot of books I avoided when I was younger just because I thought they weren't for me. I'm starting to realise that a lot of books are and it just wasn't time for me to read them yet. Others I've found are as badly written as I thought they would be and it makes me question why I want to read books by author's I haven't read from before.
Anyway, so far the books I've read that I've enjoyed are:
The Wheel of Time: Books 1 and 2. I have book 3 and plan to read it, however I fond out that this is an unfinished series since the author died. While it is technically finished, it was finished by Brandon Sanderson and while I have his books on my reading list, I don't think reading without Robert Jordan's penmanship will really bring justice to the world I've invested in. THAT BEING SAID, the first two books are SO good. I picked this book up by chance when I was away last year and put it back because the blurb was the vaguest thing I've ever seen. Except, then it haunted me once I heard there was a TV show. I haven't watched it, nor do I plan to since they seemed to have taken it in a different direction. But if you're looking for a good fantasy series to read, even if it's just the first few books, this one hasn't let me down yet.
The Raven Boys: I haven't finished this one yet but the book is good so far. I have the other 3 on the way that's how invested in this series I am right now. I've read other works by this author before, the Shiver one, and while I don't remember hating it I don't remember liking that one much. This book is good though. I'm enjoying it.
The Neverending Story: This one I enjoyed reading but I found that it's definitely a children's book. I picked it up in the hopes to read this to my niece when she's a little older. I thought it wouldn't be until she was around 10 before I could read this with her, but I'm happy that it's simple enough that I'll be able to read it to her maybe when she's around 3-7 Not too scary, not too detailed and while the movie is phenomenal, I really enjoyed this book as well.
The Folk of the Air series: I read them all. There were things in this I enjoyed. I liked the world building of the faerie realm. I also enjoyed some of the politics. But the book had its faults too. It's very teenager-ish. Which isn't inherently bad. The Raven Boys is proving to be better at it though. Jude and Cardan were... at times hard to read. It was quite predictable at times and it's not the best enemies to lovers book out there but I managed to finish it and I did enjoy it. It's something I would recommend to people, but not something I would rave about like I would the Wheel of Time.
I'm looking for other books to read after this. So far my list is:
The rest of the Raven Cycle (3 books) The Way of Kings series (These are so long and there's like 4 books) The Wheel of Time (Book 3 and maybe 4) God of War Inkheart
If there's anything else you would recommend let me know. If anyone has read any Robin Hobb books let me know if they're any good, I'm looking for a good fantasy series.
Also also if anyone knows if someone has written a Davy Jones and Calypso book let me know. I wish Disney had decided to do a prequel on them or at least release a book but I have yet to find one.
#books#recs#book recommendations#book challenge#am i reading to much?#yes#the answer is yes#its not even two full months into this year and ive already read 1.8 MILLION words#thats 7.5K pages!#im afraid of myself
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At least Newt died looking at the person he loved the most, around his arms, and Thomas got to hold him one last time
#I love to make myself suffer#Im afraid I鈥檒l never get over them guys#tmr#the maze runner#tmr newt#newt#tmr thomas#thomas#newtmas#the death cure
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"no..." she quickly interjected, "that isn't what i meant. i meant i-" i was just trying to say, i'm scared to lose you. but the words get caught in her throat when this sudden announcement he's leaving bombards her out of nowhere and causes bambi eyes to go wide. like a deer caught in headlights, all that she registers from that is he's going far away from here. "what? you're leavin'? here?" it was a shock, because of the way they'd grown up together. they always said their calling was their love for horses and all l.ucy g.ray has ever known b.illy b.onney as this cute little cowboy since the first second she saw him. even though, they both had expressed love for performing arts. it just didn't seem like everything was right in the world if billy was anything other than dedicated to his love for horses and being on their farms. like her. they had talked about it so many times, she just didn't expect this giant twist to erupt out of nowhere. "i mean... that's... that's wonderful. i'm proud and real happy for you." she always knew he was exceptionally smart and this is an amazing opportunity, she wasn't selfish. but they were like peanut butter and jelly, inseparable, attached at the hip. she wasn't grasping how she was just going to not have him around anymore. "if that's where you're goin'... why did you do that anyway?" kiss her. wasn't that just cruel? what if she hadn't had fear of ruining their bond and acted on what her heart really wanted to do? what then? he was just going to abandon her?
continued.
#are we going to mix this verse in with our hs verse we had too? or馃#if so- this could just be the events AFTER hs has ended for them#so it could be easier to keep up with?? but also ! its ok if u would like to do a whole separate verse for that too !! just suggesting-#things and also wondering myself what u had in mind !#dont be afraid to say no bc im good with either <3#also i love how these are the words that she'll never get out until she sees him again omg :))) pain. weeping. throwing up !!#lucygraysboy
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"You said I was nothing like my mum. But I may accidentally ... do bad things to you too. In the end, I won't be able to protect you. Plus, I showed up like this. I'm more annoying than you."
TAKARA NO VIDRO (2024). EPISODE TEN.
#takara no vidro#asianlgbtqdramas#asiandramasource#jdramasource#dramasource#tvedit#*#faiza gifs#'IM SO AFRAID OF MYSELF' TAKARA IF U DONT SHUT UP RIGHT NOWWWWW
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The fact that swanqueen is timeless even without being canon, imagine the event it would be if they were
#they are the reason I realized I liked women#back when I was 12#im afraid ill never get over them#caught myself reading some swanqueen fanfictions the other day#I鈥檓 about to turn 20 and I鈥檓 still on this ship y鈥檃ll#once upon a time#ouat#regina mills#emma swan#swan queen#lana parrilla#jennifer morrison
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having some ideas of my own on what stone's first name could be.... going on the idea of giving him an arabic/islamic name bc if given the choice i think its better to explicitly represent him having arabic roots than not to. so i have two suggestions that i like. 1 is that his given name could easily be muhammad/mohammed. it is the most common name in the world. it seems to me also that its pretty common for men w this name to primarily go by their surname or a middle name because so many other ppl have that name so its less identifying, thus he mainly goes by stone.
2 fareed.... i just think this is a beautiful name and look at these meanings :)



#agent stone#im scared to tag this i feel afraid putting myself into this world like this#stobotnik#there i did it i baited#i think these r good ideas but also im not muslim so feel free to correct me if ive said anything wrong#i dont think stone is a practicing muslim but it makes sense to me if hes of muslim decent#i dont know if they have religion in the sonic the hedgehog universe and im not really here about that conversation i just#want stone's name to be explicitly arabic in origin bc his actor is lebanese and he talks about how important it is to be able to have#himself represented in things. so i think he would want stone to have ties to that :] u know#so i like the idea of stone having an arabic name rather than a purely american name
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I want to read other books in the genre(s) I'm writing in, but I'm also afraid that if I do, those books will end up influencing my own writing too much, and I'll end up writing something that's effectively a copy of something else. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Is my fear well-founded?
#im not so much afraid of being accused of copying by someone else#as i am just realizing that ive written something too derivative#that would be a blow to my self-esteem and i would feel that i had betrayed myself as a writer#writers of tumblr#writer problems#writeblr#writblr#writer things#writers on tumblr#creative writing
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Get in losers we鈥檙e going to hell. 馃尮
Made a spooky game about going to rescue your love from the underworld. Don鈥檛 fuck this up okay!
#gamedev#had a really nice conversation about being less afraid to promo myself so im gonna SPLURGE on the hellsite and PROMO MYSELF#indie games#pixel art#dante鈥檚 inferno#the divine comedy#spooky season
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friendship ENDED with tarnished, now calico critters are her best friends
(listen... they hang out on my desk together... you must understand my vision.)

#fanart#illustration#elden ring#lunar princess ranni#calico critters#they are having a PRINCESS PARTY but also peppermint marlowe is there bc i got her in a blind bag and did not want to exclude her#honorary princess....in my heart#also do not...look at messmer with the fidget cubes in the bg#he plagues me for i have no shelf to contain him#so he sits on my desk and i am constantly afraid im going to trip and stab myself on the spear#im going to find small christmas tree decorations to put on him when it;'s time#like u know merry christmessmer do you understand the vision#later though....later.........#also this is the most animals i've ever drawn at once goodbye#and the first fanart i've done in a long time
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i colored that
#because i don't wanna touch that detailed asf sevagoth portrait today#and i really need to do some coloring otherwise im just gonna. be afraid of that. forever#i can't get rhino's color palette right idk why#but i had a lot of fun drawing sevagoth#especially the gold part#tbh i just yoinked the gradient map from dante's portrait#actually i think i stole that from some metal rendering tutorial while i was rendering dante but it still works i guess#okay that's enough ramble. fuck i have to remind myself to stop#warframe#warframe rhino#warframe sevagoth#warframe sevagoth prime#my art
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a reminder u wont get bad luck if u don't reblog those 'reblog for good luck' posts! nothing bad is going to happen because u didn't reblog a tumblr post!!
#a talking bunny#a reminder mostly for myself#pls!! dont reblog those posts!! it can fuck with people!!!#i am on my casual scroll and i see one of those posts and i immediately go 'if i dont reblog every bad thing im afraid of will happen.'#like i know!! i know nothing bad will happen!!! but auguhgkgdvbhhh#not even the 'immunity to those posts' posts help me... because i see another and i dissolve about it!!!
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